The last two days have been wonderful days. Truly spectacular.
It all started on Wednesday when the new DVDs arrived to replace the messed up ones. After spending a couple hours checking 30 discs for defects and finding none, I finally released a big breath of air I felt like I'd been holding for 2 weeks.
It goes without saying that this problem has bothered me. It's been like a weight on my shoulders, dragging me down.
At first it was emotional, all stacking up on James's birthday, overwhelming me with feelings of inadequacy and rage.
But slowly I moved into an active mode with the problem. As long as I was DOING something about it, I felt fine.
At times though, I felt so completely powerless I just wanted to scream.
Receiving the new DVDs and testing them felt like coming up for air after diving into dark, deep well.
And mailing out all the working, perfect copies? That felt like shrugging off the weight of 15 quilts packed on my shoulders.
For the last two days I've felt light as air. The problem is finally over and I'm moving on.
And as I move beyond this "stressed out Leah" phase, I'm taking more notice of my life and everything around me.
It's easy to get so focused, so blinded, so constricted to a tiny little sphere that everything else fades into the background.
In my yoga classes we've been focusing on heart opening poses that stretch the muscles over my chest and heart.
Over and over, my yoga instructor says "Open your heart, let your light shine, and release. Breathe....breathe."
This has helped me greatly over the last two weeks, but today it clicked. I found that extra give, that extra elasticity within my chest (probably due to the weight lifted off my shoulders) to open and stretch these muscles.
These muscles are rarely stretched, even though I do yoga twice a week now.
If you take a really, really deep breath you can feel them on the top of your chest, probably feeling a bit surprised that you paid attention to them today!
Naturally our body wants to curl inward, hiding your heart, protecting it.
These muscles are used to constricting inwards, so it feels amazing when you can open up your arms, drop your head back, and release in the opposite direction.
It's this opening that I wanted to share with you today.
Because for me, it's more than just about stretching in a pose, and feeling that uncomfortable/good feeling that comes from making muscles do things they don't often do.
It's about taking that feeling off the mat and not just seeing, but acknowledging with vivid clarity the amazing overabundance that is all around us.
My Cup Runneth Over has been ready to quilt for almost 5 days now, but I've been stalled in my tracks, wanting to first feel, REALLY feel the same feeling I had when I first "saw" this image in my mind 8 months ago.
It was a feeling of overwhelming overabundance, of luck and gratitude, and pure, lightweight love.
And I finally found it again today.
Let's go quilt!