tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7302142022228564326.post7113336915793907889..comments2023-07-25T11:48:39.285-04:00Comments on The Free Motion Quilting Project: A Turning PointLeahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03674869334249298532noreply@blogger.comBlogger41125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7302142022228564326.post-21365103021839589702010-11-05T18:00:38.293-04:002010-11-05T18:00:38.293-04:00Leah, as many others have said, I also had a very ...Leah, as many others have said, I also had a very dysfunctional childhood. I had a mean-spirited alcoholic father and a seriously co-dependent alcoholic mother. I still deal with those inner voices and also feel split. I can totally relate and you are NOT alone. I feel you've done exactly the right thing by letting go of your mother. I've done the same thing in my family with various members. There comes a time when enough is enough. When you realize that is when the adult takes over and the hurt child falls in the background...they are still there, just less intrusive. It's amazing to me that people have no problem letting go of a simple thing like a blender that doesn't work, but they'll hang on to an abusive relationship that doesn't work. You've done the right thing by saying enough is enough. <br />HUGS!QuilterGuyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06043457483382658504noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7302142022228564326.post-89153819401470839852010-10-24T12:46:11.280-04:002010-10-24T12:46:11.280-04:00Dear Leah,
I am not a regular reader of your blog....Dear Leah,<br />I am not a regular reader of your blog. Your blog has been on my list of blogs to visit, because of the buzz I have heard. In the quest to create a bibliography of quilting resources for an upcoming show, I finally made it over here. I also listened to your interview with Pat Sloan. I am in awe of your work.<br /><br />Sinkhole is a masterpiece and I hope you enter it into some show so other people can see it. You have done really well on this quilt. I think hiding the bad words from your life in the quilting in order to get them out of your body is a great one.<br /><br />You are correct that you cannot make people change. Only they can make the choice to change. You are in control of how you behave and you can only change yourself. You have the power within yourself to change the past dynamics of your family and create new dynamics for your family by your own actions and modeling positive behavior. Go for it! You can do it.<br /><br />You can be a great small business owner. This doesn't mean that you won't make mistakes. Of course, you will, everyone does. That is how we learn. Your mother told you would not be successful as a small business owner, because she wants to continue to exert control over your life and she is jealous. She sees you slipping away from her control and she doesn't like it. Continue to move away. You can do it!<br /><br />Thank you for your 365 Days of FMQ. You have done a great service to the quiltmaking community.<br />Jaye<br />http://artquiltmaker.com/blogJayehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06285727704486805109noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7302142022228564326.post-62414825878347169582010-10-22T09:53:29.645-04:002010-10-22T09:53:29.645-04:00Leah, you are not only a beautiful and talented ar...Leah, you are not only a beautiful and talented artist,you are so brave to be this amazingly, wonderfully, open on your blog. I know in my heart that you will reach and touch, and hopefully inspire thousands of readers along the way as they read about your beautifully expressed journey to understand yourself and others. I am honored to read and to connect with your words and feel deeply humbled by your experiences. We all feel such pain as we learn along our own life paths and at some level each of us knows she is not alone. What you have shared will mean more to others than even you can realize now. But as a reader who is reading back posts in your blog, I just want you to know that there will be many, many more readers who feel honored to have you share your honesty with us.Michele Bilyeuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15979296861999606692noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7302142022228564326.post-84097938897977648252010-09-30T10:44:36.321-04:002010-09-30T10:44:36.321-04:00My family was much the same...toxic and abusive fa...My family was much the same...toxic and abusive father and a multiple personality mother. Even when I was very young I realized that they had problems and I was not the cause of it. At 5 I was a seasoned observer instead of a participant. I took great refuge in my crafts, sewing, and painting. As long as I was busy, everyone left me alone. That's how I survived. I'm now 56 with two wonderful grown children and a sweet husband of 38 years. It was my choice to choose my destiny. Yeah, I inherited DNA from both parents, but that's OK. Not everyone is all bad or all good. I'm super happy to have gotten creative and smart DNA! Your talents are uniquely yours and are not tainted! <br /><br />Everything that happens before combines to make us who we are now. Had I not had those countless hours of creating, well, I wouldn't be me. I count my blessings every day and revel in how things are now: Happy family, happy home, and happy quilting. My heart overflows with appreciation for my life now. <br /><br />Good luck my dear. When you are ready make yourself a "Happy" Quilt...whatever colors, design, or stitching. Just for you. Just because you can. Just because it's your choice!Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02843874919142189534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7302142022228564326.post-20752483603703121472010-09-27T00:18:48.589-04:002010-09-27T00:18:48.589-04:00My thoughts and prayers are with you. You have bee...My thoughts and prayers are with you. You have been to hell and back. It is good that you have reached a point in your life where you can identify why people close to you have done what they have done. It is even better that you have a great positvie that has come out of all of this. You and your quilting are an inspiration to us all - and - for that I thank you. Always remember your husband and child. They love you and are there for you. Warm hugs to you and your family - DianneDianne Gileshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07616429225430259248noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7302142022228564326.post-84266320240376226062010-09-25T19:17:41.719-04:002010-09-25T19:17:41.719-04:00Leah, I am thrilled to know you are planning on qu...Leah, I am thrilled to know you are planning on quilting Sinkhole with words. I am working on my first challenge quilt and plan to quilt the entire background with words. This quilt has been very challenging for me, first, because we must use RED and I NEVER use red, second because it is supposed to be of a childhood memory and I have few memories of being young and third because I have never done an artsy quilt before....it will be my first applique. I am excited about it. I can't wait to see how you blend everything together! Ready to quilt NOW---SonJaJakehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02755611379189841510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7302142022228564326.post-86717190930681257112010-09-25T06:53:23.994-04:002010-09-25T06:53:23.994-04:00Leah, just recognizing what happened and learning ...Leah, just recognizing what happened and learning to see clearly is a huge first step. Your rage will pass as you process the dysfunction you lived through, and good therapists and good friends will help with that. Pace yourself and let the healing come. And as other posters have said: the artistic talent you honed during this time is not a product of abuse, it was a refuge during the abuse; an expression of the best of Leah, the bedrock, the part of you that you were able to keep whole and alive. A big hug and a big sugar cookie to that little girl behind the chair. It is safe to come out now, honey.WesternWilsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12765821422247317378noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7302142022228564326.post-74278338605103623052010-09-25T00:04:45.035-04:002010-09-25T00:04:45.035-04:00I love the idea of quilting both the hurtful words...I love the idea of quilting both the hurtful words and the positive words. Sometimes things just need to be written down to purge them from your mind, body, and spirit. I am glad I recently found your blog and at the same time you are clearing out the cobwebs from your past.<br />Be healthy, and go quilt!Tsigeyusvhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05999932284811796439noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7302142022228564326.post-56905831734389384072010-09-24T22:14:54.256-04:002010-09-24T22:14:54.256-04:00Anyone who takes time to read and understand "...Anyone who takes time to read and understand "Outliers" is one smart cookie! Good for you for attacking your weaknesses and making them strengths. You can be who you want to be, one action at a time.<br /><br />P.S. I listen to all Gladwell's books on my mp3 so I can still quilt. Try it!Kristihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13823637935554619493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7302142022228564326.post-6435062601394131152010-09-24T19:30:38.933-04:002010-09-24T19:30:38.933-04:00Hi well reading this I found that it brought back ...Hi well reading this I found that it brought back some bad memories of my mother. My friend gave me some really good advice and I would love to share them with you. If you could email me your phone number I would love to talk with you. My mother has passed away I think 6 years ago ( noticed I said I think) but as I feel in my heart she passed away many more years they that. I just didn't go threw this with my mother but my step mothercame into my life and was more a mother just my own mother but she did the same thing to me as my mother did. So I went threw it twice and not again. so I hope we can talk one day. I'm not as good as writing it like you are.Sherryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18214420425892741292noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7302142022228564326.post-91425585384150204202010-09-24T16:55:11.270-04:002010-09-24T16:55:11.270-04:00Congratulations for learning to use your free will...Congratulations for learning to use your free will. You are choosing to not be abused. You are choosing your own path. The only life we can live is our own. <br />Not only are you taking what is rightfully yours, but you are teaching your child by example that we each have free will. I send you love and good will.Gay Denessehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16942835427078473178noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7302142022228564326.post-46801750610525057702010-09-24T16:52:12.133-04:002010-09-24T16:52:12.133-04:00I am truly sorry for the type of abuse you have ha...I am truly sorry for the type of abuse you have had to endure for years. But I must congratulate you; you are in your 20s (yes?) and you have already figured these things out; it takes some folks (like me) MUCH longer.<br /><br />I do not know if I had to endure it to the same degree of intensity that you did, but I can tell you that my family was emotionally abusive and overly critical, as well. I endured unfair, unsolicited criticism from my mom, grandmother and aunt for YEARS from everything to my choice in a husband, my career choice, my parenting choices, home decor, etc. etc.--the list goes on.<br /><br />I have personally found some relief from this in recent years because of a couple of reasons: First, I am now at a point where I have finally made clear to them that I will not tolerate their criticism any longer. If it means that we don't talk to or see each other for weeks, or months, or longer, then so be it.<br /><br />Second, my mom and aunt are finally mellowing out with age, bad health, etc., and my grandmother is deceased. Oh, dear; that may sound depressing and hopeless to you. But please don't let it be. I would strongly advocate employing some of the techniques I mentioned in the first reason--you make clear that there will be no real relationship unless something changes.<br /><br />I really and truly hope and pray that things get better, whether it happens quickly or slowly.Laurel H.https://www.blogger.com/profile/14272798031417837665noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7302142022228564326.post-27237743936726870972010-09-24T13:40:58.986-04:002010-09-24T13:40:58.986-04:00Congratulations for claiming the first day of the ...Congratulations for claiming the first day of the rest of your life! May God bless you on this new journey - a life full of peace and contentment.Julee's Thread & Needlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14290724003364321121noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7302142022228564326.post-19242255823496294062010-09-24T13:18:25.700-04:002010-09-24T13:18:25.700-04:00I had a very similar family growing up. I can'...I had a very similar family growing up. I can't tell you how much your story sounds like my story. I won't go into it here.<br /><br />I think a lot of people raised in that type of enviroment tend to continue the cycle like you talked about. Be proud of yourself for breaking it! Be proud that you recongnized that it wasn't how you wanted to be and that you used the experience to become a better person than the persons who raised you. *hugs*Monicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10630536302714072900noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7302142022228564326.post-65857881565961204622010-09-24T12:43:01.276-04:002010-09-24T12:43:01.276-04:00God bless you dear for turning your life to someth...God bless you dear for turning your life to something positive and good. Thank God for the choices you have made. You are an inspiration!mkhquiltshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01663281552484803679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7302142022228564326.post-27581843149640394082010-09-24T12:17:08.551-04:002010-09-24T12:17:08.551-04:00Leah, i haven't read the other comments (like ...Leah, i haven't read the other comments (like i usually do) because i want... no i *need* to talk to you first from my heart.<br /><br />You have brought tears to my eyes. The only reason i'm not crying right now is because i refuse to. Maybe later. I don't know.<br /><br />But if i were there right now, i would hold you. You may not be the "touchy-feely" type, but i definitely think you need a hug. <br /><br />I was raised in a loving home, but because of things i've seen and heard, i truly believe that sometimes we NEED to *choose* our own families instead of "keeping" the ones we were born with.<br />I applaud you for having the courage and the strength to be able to see this for yourself. To be able to "walk away" from an abusive family is the most "selfish" and yet totally self-preserving thing an abused person can do.<br /><br />At this point, you are responsible for yourself and for your child, and i applaud you for thinking of you and of him and his future.<br /><br />I am so proud of you!<br />I am dealing with a one-time incident of sexual abuse by a family member, and i KNOW it takes a TON of courage to deal with difficulties in our past.<br /><br />May i have half as much courage as you.<br /><br />Thank you for sharing yourself with us.Wendyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18290498016642859265noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7302142022228564326.post-56343841609059150272010-09-24T11:23:11.023-04:002010-09-24T11:23:11.023-04:00I'm glad for you that you made your decision. ...I'm glad for you that you made your decision. I think it's hard for people to go against their parents, because they've been taught to always do as their parents say. So to cut them out is huge. But you're right to do so. I've more or less done the same thing with my family, though I haven't cut them out completely. You are not alone in what you do. Make a strong bond within your immediate family, and be sure to nurture good friendships and you'll be happier in the end.Cherylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13420196989973975582noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7302142022228564326.post-64187858763757432362010-09-24T10:55:42.590-04:002010-09-24T10:55:42.590-04:00Leah, your mom's horrid abuse may have been th...Leah, your mom's horrid abuse may have been the source for all of your hours of craft-related practice--but it was you, who even at that very young age, chose to channel the negative energy of your household into something positive. That's all you, sweetie. You should be proud of that.<br /><br />I don't know what made your mom the unhappy, selfish, abusive person she is, but regardless, she's just plain toxic. It's not your responsibility to try to change or help her--especially given the fact that she shows no inclination to change. The best thing to do is to cut toxic people from your life. I know it's a hard decision when that person is your mother, but really you have no choice. You have to protect yourself (and your family) from her toxic thoughts and actions. <br /><br />It's apparent you're making huge leaps in understanding. It takes courage to do this, and you've got plenty of courage.Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01805403370463885686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7302142022228564326.post-2887190895494781832010-09-24T04:33:23.905-04:002010-09-24T04:33:23.905-04:00You are truly brave to share your story with us an...You are truly brave to share your story with us and I am so grateful for it. I belive in doing what is right and leaving any negativity behind and I have had to do that 2 times in my life also, although my situations were no-where near what yours have been.<br />Congratulations on being a strong independant person who is willing to put herself and her family's wellbeing first.Bec Clarkehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17963474290449370294noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7302142022228564326.post-13154294968388893182010-09-24T04:12:34.437-04:002010-09-24T04:12:34.437-04:00I'm breathless...well done on finding a way th...I'm breathless...well done on finding a way through. I so hate all the comments like "you've only one mother, you must cherish". Being a mother doesn't equal automatic nice person. Its only recently that I've learned "you are allowed to feel what you feel" that we are only responsible for ourselves, we can't make others be what we want them to be. Some people are just toxic, and if they weren't blood, they'd have gone from our lives long ago.<br />What you've realised and discovered, you don't need to keep going over... that can hold you in a dark place. It is... its enough you know, it doesn't need to speak louder than the good stuff. Every good wish to you.Beverleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08888309706331542704noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7302142022228564326.post-15436626336431125732010-09-24T03:31:34.587-04:002010-09-24T03:31:34.587-04:00I'm crafting at times of the last few years ha...I'm crafting at times of the last few years has kept me sane - I'm sharing it with a friend who's staying with us at present as our home is her 'safe house' until she's strong enough and it's safe for her to take the next step and I hope she finds the joy in escaping and loosing oneself in a craft as it helps build our inner strength<br />And, I fully understand about decisions about 'cutting' loose family members my DH has been through some really tough, nasty times with his Mother, sister, brother and son in recent years that he's had to make a similar decision - it's hard and hurtful but necessary!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05386852386404591819noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7302142022228564326.post-82268139943814623552010-09-24T02:51:52.624-04:002010-09-24T02:51:52.624-04:00Your mum and mine were/are twins.
Thankfully, mine...Your mum and mine were/are twins.<br />Thankfully, mine was 4000 kilometers away most of my adult life, but I still had/have a journey similar to yours. <br />I am MOST interested in The Sinkhole as it progresses to its finish.Del Sodenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10744726265642524803noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7302142022228564326.post-20732077464675904882010-09-24T02:07:44.578-04:002010-09-24T02:07:44.578-04:00You have done a brave and wonderful thing in shari...You have done a brave and wonderful thing in sharing your story and your journey toward healing on your blog. <br />You have absolutely made the correct decision in cutting your mother our of our life. Just because she gave birth to you doesn't give her the right to negatively affect your entire life. Parents have to earn a place in their adult children's lives.<br />Keep creating beauty.Chrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03731927468302848024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7302142022228564326.post-84263356751467290172010-09-24T01:10:08.000-04:002010-09-24T01:10:08.000-04:00You are a brave, strong woman, and I admire you. H...You are a brave, strong woman, and I admire you. Hope we can all learn from you how to face and overcome our "dragons"<br />ElzaanElzaanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01765686960907117902noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7302142022228564326.post-12920102322870233292010-09-23T23:36:00.593-04:002010-09-23T23:36:00.593-04:00How exciting to have gone through the pain of unde...How exciting to have gone through the pain of understanding and dealing with such ugliness, and turning it around and literally creating beauty in its place! I am uplifted by your beautiful realizations that YOU ARE GOOD and your decision to keep all the negativity far away from you and your family. You are strong, you are talented, and you are generous. You are amazing! And without the pain that made up your life, you wouldn't be the fabulous person that you are today. Good job!katiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13334116194508361780noreply@blogger.com